Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
