Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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