The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
