There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
