i don't like sucking hair
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
