i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just want to make out with him forever
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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