No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
