went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
