that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
