wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
