I have demons in me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
