I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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