you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
