watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
