Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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