i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
