it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
