Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
