Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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