He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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