He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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