Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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