you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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