Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
These tits shall not be calmed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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