you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
