Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
