Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
