So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize