Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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