we have officially lost it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
