IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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