Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
