She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Shitshow foam night was such a success
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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