I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My feet surprised me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
