I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
