I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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