Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
