THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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