That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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