your room smells of hookers.
And success
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize