this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
