Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
