butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
