i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
