I CAN MOONWALK!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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