Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry anthonyrobert hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...

Fav 8 929 2164
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.

Fav 16 1504 5223
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

Fav 14 1671 4326
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.

Fav 34 2831 11410
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

Fav 14 5222 1816
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal

Fav 5 1085 2215
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.

Fav 9 1457 2082
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.

Fav 2 756 500
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera

Fav 0 19 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT