I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize