yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
