Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
smell my finger.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
