I want to stick my p in your. b.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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