Whod you bang
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
