Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
