I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
