Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
