if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
either way he was missing a nipple.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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