$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
