Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
