If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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