I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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