I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he was CRYING into my vagina
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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