check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The air was thick with penises
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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