Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
