i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize