Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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