So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
