do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
