i think my mom watched the whole time
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
