is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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