Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
