everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
